Anyone want to talk about their family and how they deal with/ accept/ perceive your needs and wishes? I've just got back from a week staying with mine. First half of trip staying at my parents, second half staying in my brother's annexe which he runs as a holiday let. Wow I felt so much more at ease at my brother's. Able to manage my own time, deal with my kids without constant observation/ critique, permission to just chill in bed in the evenings with no expectation of 'adult' socialising. I think they were all quite surprised about me not joining in on things ( eg a woodland walk) and having lie-downs in the middle of the day. Ive been doing this for probably a year, bit I think I was previously perceived as rude/ precious/difficult. This time, seeing me with the sunflower lanyard and knowing about me using airport disability services seems to have changed their perceptions.. I learned from my brother that my parents have created all sorts of their own anxieties about the fact I don't make contact that often, or when they call it never seems to be the right time. I realised this is because they just don't know that ( during school term) I nap most days and going to bed super early is the norm. All this resting means that other activities of my day are more compressed so I often find I don't have a moment to make social phone calls. They obviously don't understand this and choose to take offense. I'm going to need to think on this and find a way to explain this.. I have to say making use of disability services was a real game changer for me, I'm coming back tired but not destroyed. I'm pondering how the Kubler Ross change curve applies for close contacts of those coming to terms with disabilities as well as the afflicted themselves - but probably with a massive time lag, and much less knowledge..
Posted by rachaelr at 2022-08-18 11:54:09 UTC