I’m really struggling to encourage myself to do any sessions, even just meditation and breathwork, because of how overwhelming it is to acknowledge the amount of pain I’m in. I dissociate from my pain most of the time and it’s like being slapped in the face whenever I lay down and start to just breathe. It feels so impossible to encourage myself to do something that’s just so unpleasant and it’s also so frustrating to remember all I’ve lost. In 2019 I was climbing mountains, deadlifting, squatting and bench pressing my body weight, loving such a happy life and now I am crushed by fatigue and pain and subluxations and waiting to see what spinal surgery might fix my neck. I know that so many of you will be in the same position but it feels so hard to motivate myself because of how scared I am of pain and injury. I don’t even know where to start or what I should be doing each day. Even session labelled gentle make me feel anxious about if it’s going to be gentle enough.

Posted by emilylswiatek at 2022-09-18 17:25:13 UTC